.: Cognitive Poppycock :.

Order of the Penis

2009-05-11T20:06:29Z

Your back's botherin' meh!
I can't recall a time when Dallas looked this green.
There is a place called "Donuts" across the street from my apartments as well as my office.
Lindsay loves apple fritters and milk.
I just love donuts.

Thoughts...

We should open a bar and call it Beer then Bread then Bed.
It will consist of 3 large rooms. The first room will have 4 bars, a stage, a dance floor, and pool tables. The second room will have booths and chairs and tables and a kitchen that serves Pancakes, Waffles, Donuts, Toast, Muffins, Rolls, and any other bread-like substance that could absorb alcohol. It will also serve Chips & Salsa, Sausage, Ham, Cheese, Tacos, Burritos, and Rice. The last room will have a bunch of clean beds, hammocks, couches and recliners where people can pass out. Each couch, recliner, hammock, and bed will also be equipped with headphones and ipod jacks so you don't have to listen to other people being drunk. The place will be open 24 hours, and sleeping is free as long as you've spent $50 or more. Otherwise, it's $50 a night. There will also be a large slide and mechanical bull because that appeals to Texans.

Hold On to the Night
It's been awhile since I've voiced an opinion about music. Yeah, myyy opinion because it is right and that is whyyy you need to hear it. Lately, I've been listening to classics, 80's and 90's pop, and one hit wonders. This is due to my weekly karaoke outings. It's fun, but it's easy to run out of shit to sing. As a result, I've been trolling the depths of the music abyss in search of songs no one has done before. Despite all this, I've still managed to keep an ear to soil and have thus been able to make a list of things I like and things I wish would go away because hearing them makes me want to give the world AIDS and burn it alive.

Good Pop/Bad Pop (could I be any more clever)...

Good Pop
- Anything with Justin Timberlake attached to it (he's amazing and turns everything he touches to gold)
- If You Seek Amy (Fuck Me) (i would fuck britney fat and bald, that's how much i love her)
- Silversun Pickups (i wish more stuff like this would take off. it reminds me of SP and Mew)
- Green Day (overplayed and overrated? perhaps. but i'll take a new green day album over almost anything else the radio thinks yeah about)
- Poker Face (i'm 50/50 on lady gaga (see below). the mwuh mwuh mwuh marr makes me think of good butts)
- Re-experiencing classics like Ten and OK Computer (not only do they sound better than ever, but it gives me an excuse to purchase them all over again!)

Bad Pop
- Beyonce (someone run her over, please! her voice is worse than me shoving needles in my dick and scraping it against a chalkboard)
- Boom Boom Pow (how many more times is someone gonna get a number 1 hit using cheap onomatopoeias? you can write songs too!)
- Gives You Hell (always been indifferent to the AAR, but this is the last straw! who enjoys this? it makes me want to shit chinese babies out of my mouth)
- Just Dance (fuck this song. i'm not gonna do what she says anymore. if there was an ounce of substance here, we could justify hearing it 43 times a day, but there isn't so let's jerk off to barbara stresand's butt hairs instead)
- The Fray (could your voice be any more void of emotion? zzz... i'd rather watch a slideshow of bob barker's favorite golf balls)
- Nickelback (this band is the equivalent of waiting in line in a filthy bar to take a beer heavy piss behind a bud light jackass in black wrangler jeans whistlin' along and making snide remarks about some bitch to no one imparticular and then pretending he's got a big dick by overemphasing the fact that he's pulling up his pants while spitting into the toilet and clearing his throat loudly then neglecting to wash his hands as he proceeds to walk with a fake, half-assed gangster lean toward a door with no handle on it)
- Sugarland (as well as any other country/pop crossover. worst. music. ever. oh, and they destroyed bon jovi too. DIE!)
- Blue October (fuck you! fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.)
U2 (i'm convinced every new album is just the last album with different titles. also, bono is the world's biggest turd. so there!)
- Hannah Montana (you need only hear her speak 1 word to know that hearing her sing will make you defy god and all that is good.)
- Taylor Swift (see hannah montana)
- Chris Cornell w/ Timbaland (i like red, i like yellow, but hate orange. this is orange.)
- Bluray Releases of bullshit like Jeff Beck and Barbara Streisand (no one needs to see those ugly fucks in high definition much less listen to them! Wait I can see her butt hairs. Let's masturbate together and sing about the sadie hawkins dance)
- Stuff that's funny until someone else tries to be the first to introduce you to it like On a Boat, or that Eminem clone who thinks yeah about his College. (a lot of stuff is funny the first time. a lot of bands are good until you see their fan base. balding karaoke fats who like star trek and star wars the same but think lord of the rings is sub-par will be the first to point stuff like this out. then you feel damut for having enjoyed it even once.)

Yeah, myyy opinion. Like an onion only I think it gives you good breath! eYeahhh.
That's really all I got today. I was merely killing time until the boss left.
Sha'zam!

Who needs a house out in Hackensack?

2009-05-07T21:24:37Z

Mercy me! Ohh heavens to betsy!
Recently, I...
... became the captain of a volleyball team.
... moved my office from Plano to Allen.
... modeled for a fashion expedition.
... moved in with my endless love!
... sang at a wedding.
... electrocuted myself.
... nearly blew up the new apartment.
... rediscovered golden chick.

Let's go in order, shall we?

That's the way to play VOLLEYBALL!
I am the captain/coordinator of a Vollerball team who calls themselves the Mr. T Express. We've managed to lose every game this season, but still it's a lot of fun! Plus, this past Tuesday we got to play Lindsay's team and we almost won a game! I've really become addicted to the sport and hope to improve myyyy game. Myyyyy game as time goes byyyy. Goes byyyy! Like life is so important when iiiii talk about it.

Office Space
So commuting to Allen sucks, but at least now I get to listen to more music in the car. Also, the new office is pretty sweet as there's a receptionist who accepts/delivers our packages, i get to ride in an elevator, plus there's a 7-11 right across the street for which to weaze the ju-u-uice! Getting all the phones and computers and supplies moved and hooked up and reorganized was a bitch, but as of now, everything's falling into place. My desk is really close to the wall so it's difficult to get in and out of. Myyyy desk. Like since it's miiiine it is more important than yourrrs.

Like a Calvin Klein Model in a Videooo
A good friend of mine, Stephanie Bower, fancies herself a clothing designer. Awhile back she asked me if I would be a model. Then she asked why I was ignoring her. Then I said, "were you talking to me!?" At first I agreed just to, you know, help her out, and to be honest I wasn't sure what to expect, so there may have been a little morbid curiosity in there as well. But overall I was skeptical cause A) I'm no model. B) I don't like the idea of waking up early to drive to Denton. C) Why did it have to be on the week of all weeks? but when I got to Denton and got acquainted with the ordeal, it actually turned out to be a lot of fun! Not only that, but Stephanie is more or less amazing! Her line was inspired by 3:10 to Yuma and it made me feel all hot and sexy. Best of all, all 5 of her pieces were approved for the big fashion show this Saturday, May 9th in Denton!! Too bad I already have tickets to see Louis CK (who was fucking hilarious by the way).

Endless Love
This new apartment is like heaven on earth. We have a great view of a creek and waterfall, plus it provides natural ambience for which to lull us to sleep at night. There's plenty of room and the walls are reinforced with 3 1/2 feet of sound canceling concrete so we can party til 6 in the morn (six in the mornin'). Of course when we arrived with the moving truck they weren't finished cleaning it, so we had to pile all of our stuff onto the balcony (which is huge) and wait for the carpet cleaner to come. Then the couch wouldn't fit in the game room and the walls got all banged up. Then the counters weren't finished and showed signs of heavy wear (sic). Then there were bugs in the lights. Then the toilet wasn't seated so I fell into the wall trying to take a shit. Then the dryer plug didn't fit. Then there was no hot water. Then Lindsay killed her head in the shower. Then it poured rain and we couldn't get our couch delivered on time. Then I electrocuted myself (see below). Then the mail key didn't work. Then, well... you get the idea. But now most, if not all of said issues have been resolved and Lindsay and I are really starting to enjoy ourselves. We purchased a Memory Foam comforter for the king-sized bed. This shit will make you wanna sleep forever! We bought a bunch of fancy artwork to hang on the walls, plus Linds had pictures of us framed to hang as well so people will think yeah when they come in. The couch was delivered and it could not be more comfortable or perfect. Last, but not least, I truly feel that this is the happiest time of my life. Myyyy life. Like when I mention myyy life, you should stop and consider yours and how much less cool it is. Myyy.

Twist and Shout
So in the midst of the week of all weeks, I had to memorize 2 songs to sing at Graham and Marsha's wedding reception. 1) Twist and Shout in the style of the Beatles and 2) I'm a Believer in the style of The Monkees. Suffice it to say this was the most stressful thing of all. I don't know whyyyy. Afterall, I love to sing and most of the people in attendance were my good friends and have already heard my voice. And at least I didn't have to sing their first dance! Poor Patrick. Anyways, the wedding was sweet and the reception was a blast and the dance floor blew up during Twist and Shout... the only problem is, I said fuck.

Electro-shock Blues
Replacing the dryer plug should've been easy. 3 prongs, 3 screws, BAM! Right? Well, not if you're Dusty Hagan. Nuh huh huh huh. Silly of me not to think of the circuit breakers. So I get the thing all plugged in and of course, nothing. Damut. Then the maintenance guy shows up to fix the toilet and sees me struggling and goes "Did you flip the circuit breaker?" "No." So he flips the breaker and it works, but it's making a weird noise. Damut. Then I remember the metal hose was in the dryer itself. We put it there to make it easier to move. I figured that was the cause of the noise. So I proceed to crawl behind the dryer to attach the metal hose. As I bend down, I'm suddenly greeted with 250 volts of electricity which shoots through my entire body and causes me to spasm and speak in tongues. Then I notice my knee... apparently electricity has to pass through something and chooses the easiest route. I was the route and my knee was the easiest. Not only was my left knee split wide open, but it managed to rip a giant hole in my jeans! I could've died! HAHAHAHA!

Look Out for Da Bomb!
So wounded knee and all, I get the dryer put back together, but as I'm coercing it back into position, I bump the gas heater which causes a giant spark and fills the air with the pleasant smell of, well... gas. Again, I could've died! HAHAHAHA! What's worse, is I could've blown up our new apartment. HAHAHA!

Edited 5/11/09
Golden Chick is Amazing.

everyone's a winner

2009-04-03T19:42:29Z

wait... did i just see an ad on LJ?
guess everyone's gotta make theirs these days
i'm surprised advertising works!
with my experience, i've concluded that customers simply don't read

next up we've got rreeeed! rreeeed come up to the stage!

britney was incredible!
it was like a circus, magic act, dance off, porno and concert all rolled into one
we were 10th row... so close i could tell she was lip synching!
linds took a ton of sweet pics
when she posts them, i will post my faves

mmm... fratbread

speaking of lindsay...
she's inspired me to record an album of cover songs
since writing my own stuff is never gonna happen
this is a good way to brush up on recording techniques
whilst making her happy in the process

rook at my riries!

speaking of cover songs...
josh pointed out that Regulate by Warren G is actually Keep Forgettin' by Michael McDonald
this was such an astounding revelation that i've decided to compile
a mix cd of the original songs sampled by popular rap and r&b stars over the years

here's what i've got so far...

Keep Forgettin' by Michael McDonald
sampled by Warren G on Regulate

The Way It Is by Bruce Hornsby
sampled by 2pac on Changes

Girl Can't Help It by Little Richard
sampled by Fergie on Clumsy

Ammonia Avenue by Alan Parson's Project
sampled by Kanye West on Heartless

Between the Sheets by The Isley Brothers
sampled by Notorious B.I.G. on Big Poppa

Five to One by The Doors
sampled by Jay-Z on Takeover

Straight to Hell by The Clash
sampled by M.I.A. on Paper Planes

The Message by Grandmaster Flash
sampled by Ice Cube on Check Yourself

I know there are more obvioud ones like zeppelin/puffy , rick james/mc hammer, queen/vanilla ice, but those are lame.

stronger than yesterday

2009-03-24T16:30:40Z

A rather gloomy day at work
It's gonna be a lot harder from here on out
Hopefully everyone affected by these current times finds their way in the end

on a much lighter note...

Britney Spears Karaoke this Thursday @ Sharky's!!
Thought it would be fun(ny) to celebrate her forthcoming concert on the 31st
my loneliness ain't killin' me no moooorre

Lindsay posted pictures of our LA trip on Facebook

WEEEE!
Good times to say the least
I can't wait for Orlando!
There the water isn't 45 degrees

just like every cowboy sings a sad, sad song...

2009-03-19T16:41:58Z

i'd love to blame the big guy for the collapse of our economy
a likely target... execs getting fat, customers feeling screwed over...
but then i actually think about the customer, the consumer...
and wonder maybe if people weren't such babies...
so petty, so helpless, so demanding, so greedy, so expecting...
then perhaps big and small businesses alike could actually survive!

doth i protest to much?

Common Complaints and The Solutions We Can't Really Suggest Cause They'll Pull The Whole "I'm a Customer, and I'm Always Right so How Dare You Speak to Me That Way!" Bullshit...

C: It doesn't work!
S: Did you at least try to make it work before you just assumed the whole world was out to get you? I dunno, maybe plug it in, press the on button for more than a moment, charge it, adjust it, fiddle with it, clean it, find another wire or outlet or cord in your cluttered house compatible with it, not break it and claim it was broke, or learn how to use it first??? Don't be such a bay for fuck's sake!

C: How does it work?
S: That's not my problem. You bought it, so it's your responsibility to learn how to use it, dumb ass!

C: I don't want this anymore, Can I return it?
S: No! We are not Wal-Mart and do not accept returns for buyer's remorse or because you're too stupid and bought the wrong size, color, shape, thing. Go fuck yourself!

C: This used item is too beat up for my taste, can I return it for a better looking one?
S: NO! That's the risk you were willing to take by purchasing a "used" item. Deal with it, princess cunt!

C: It's been 3 weeks or more, Can I return it?
S: Seriously? You've had 3 solid weeks with your item and NOW you want to return it? I don't fuckin' think so! You've had plenty of time to realize any defects... I know, you probably just broke it and now you want another one. Nice try, Stinky Weaselteats.

C: I want my refund/replacement before I hand over the defective item!
S: Nuh uh! Who taught you life? You suck at it. Business 101... you must return something before another something can be issued. And don't threaten me, or cause a stink, or claim I'm out to get you. We get fucked over just as much as you do... we're just too afraid to open our mouths cause we have a reputation to uphold... Obviously you don't, so from now on, we shall refer to you as "asshole" or "bitch".

C: Can you bend the rules for me? I.E. Meet Me Somewhere, Stay Open Later, Ignore the Length of the Warranty, Give Me More, Upgrade Me, Give Me a Discount, Pamper Me, Wipe My Ass, Raise My Children, Cure My Well-Deserved Cancer?
S: Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to mistake you for the Sun! Sure, let me just go out of business for you. That seems fair to me! Pleasure doing business with you!

Rabble!
Rabble!
Rabble!

never hesitating to become the fated ones

2009-03-18T16:36:08Z

went to see the mavs game last night with Rindsay
apparently they never lose when she goes
... looks like i'm buying her season tickets for her bday!
nuhh huh huh huh
she looked so cute in her mavs shirt
i love that she's a bigger basketball fan than i
... kinda hot
and i'm on my knees
rookin' for my michaerr

i dunno if i mentioned this,
but i gots a 24 hour fitness membership awhile back
been goin' to S.E.T. and Lift classes with the Linds
gonna try a Cycring crass tonight
not only is it a fun thing to do with miss gorgeous
but i was reading my new year's resolutions from 2 or 3 years ago
and a six pack was one of them
so...
ooowwwaaaoooo

LOST is on tonight
it became my favorite show 4th season
The Constant
look it up!
even if you don't watch the show
that episode stands alone
and made me cry like a baby
why am i discussing TV with myself?
DAMUT!

work is a sad state of affairs right now
seems to be that way for most people
i typed up this big mission statement
you know, to avoid taking a 3rd pay cut...
and although it went over well
it looks like the light at the end of the tunnel may be further than we thought
... DAMUT!

while we're on DAMUT...
i'm worried about Linds
she gets these excruciating headaches
and often!
also she screwed up her shoulder in lift class the other day
poor girl
i love her so much
and it kills me to see her in pain
if only we could absorb each others' pain, ya know?
i would take every future headache, body ache, bruise, or broken bone for her in a heartbeat

reasons i'm excited to move out of the dump i currently call a home...
the awful smell of dojin food
no parking
loud neighbors
cramped quarters
ruined carpet
loose, cheap kitchen tiles
bad plumbing
no recycling
no view/privacy
refrigerator that won't close
garbage disposal they can't seem to fix
screaming kids
serious traffic at the entrance/exit
currently!

what i will miss?
nothing.
... except maybe being across the street from panda
mmm

Linds and i are all into this Engrish thing
it started while watching LOST
we laughed every time Sun said "Michaerr"
now everything with an "L" gets the treatment...
prease firr
ROST
birry joerr
rorrerbrading
responsibirities
HAHA!
last night the everybody clap your hands song came on

... we both had a laugh

Toora Loora Toora Looo Rye Ayyyy!

2009-03-17T16:15:55Z

We got the apartment we wanted!

YAY!

Lindsay Will Be There!
Sound and Weather-proof Construction
Dog Park
Prime Location (Springcreek & Preston in Plano)
Water Vorrybarr Pool
Giant Balcony
Scenic View of White Rock Creek
Gameroom
2 Parking Spaces Just for Us
Plenty of Parking for Guests
Built-in Book Shelves
Gas Stove
Recycling Center
Curb-side Trash Pick-up
Spacious Closets for Lindsay ;)
Stand-up Shower
Separate Garden Tub
Gorgeous Community
Covered Parking at the Mail Center (no more wet magazines!)
Large Fitness Center w/ Lap Pool

We were on a waiting list for a 2B with a view, and didn't expect to hear anything until late April/May, but fortunately, Tabby the Leasing Agent called yesterday with the good news. Though rent is a bit higher than we wanted, I'm still gonna save 200 bucks a month by moving in with Lindsay! The former tenants will be out the end of April, so she's gonna move in May 1st. My lease isn't up til June, so I'll slowly make the transition in May to make the move easier. I'm so excited! Linds and I went to BB&B yesterday to price shit for the new place....

... looks like we're gonna spend 10,000 dollars.

Pismo Beach and all the Clams

2009-03-16T19:15:57Z

3/11
Woke up at 4:45am
Rode to the airport with Lindsay and her sister, Jamie
Ate McDonald's and caught the 7:55 to LAX
Learned about microphallus
Arrived around Lunch time
Rented a PT Cruiser
Headed North toward Pismo Beach
Couldn't find a Taco Bell, so wound up at Del Taco
This would be our first and last mistake
Made it to Lindsay's Grandma's around 3:30 or 4
Slurpees!
At first, considering the awkwardness, I feared this was gonna be a long 2 days
Turned out to be both hilarious and fun
The davenport!
Some old woman was trying to cross this street and she got ran over by an RV... twice.
Played a shit ton of cards
Grandma couldn't hear Jamie and I farting
Drank some Vodka and Blue Moon
Grandma flipped off Jamie and said "This finger doesn't work so good"
Jamie had to administer eye drops
Lindsay. who was lucky enough to have gotten up to use the restroom
returns just in time and laughs at Jamie
Watched Biscuit and Jon Lajoie on Youtube
Lindsay fell off the bed
We all couldn't stop laughing
Cuttin' up!

3/12
Jamie steamrolled Linds and I around 7:30am
Lindsay fell off the bed again
Met Lindsay's uncle, Jim
Had breakfast at the Station
Went shopping at the Outlet Mall
Linds bought a cute shirt and some sexy jeans
Slurpees!
Lunch at Yanagi
Excellent view and food
Wine tasting at Claiborne & Churchill
Checked out the beach by Jim's
Back to Grandma's
Walked on the beach by her house
Took pictures
Chased birds
Found a complete Sand Dollar (which I left on Grandma's porch, damut)
Ate the Peanut Butter Pie from Coco's the night before
Drank a lot of the wine we bought that day
More cards
More farting
cocoa crispies crazy
Grandma told depressing stories
Apparently she's been in a police line up before
My sign is Michaerr

3/13
Said goodbye to Grandma and headed back to LA
Beautiful drive south along the coast and through the Mountains
Some of the vintners were watering their grapes
and the morning sun reflecting of the mist was a sight to behold
Dropped Jamie off at LAX
Met Jace, Nick and Ryan at Jace and Ryan's apartment in NoHo
Price and Bower were there too, ready to party
Had lunch at Roma's home of the best fucking Chicken Parm Sandwich
and Garlic Chicken calzone in the world!
Played Frisbee Golf
It's going the wrong way!
Rode the underground train to a party in Hollywood
Met Erin, Scott and a bunch of other people
Saw Mann's Chinese, Kodak Theater, the stars on the sidewalk
Helped drink a keg of Miller Lite
sorry i called you a chet
Finally felt the affects of non-stop socializing with minimal sleep
Retired about 4am

3/14
Drove out to Malibu
Played Sand Vorrybarr
Ate at Malibu Seafood, best clam chowder sourdough bowl ever!
Jumped in the ocean
Drove back to Jace and Ryan's apartment
Busted out the wine and beer
Sat in the Hot Tub for 3 hours
Retired around 1am

3/15
oh, been travelin' on this road too long, just tryin to find my way back home
Layover in Albequrque
Sunset plane ride
Abbey was excited to see me
Lindsay's mom said she got an A in personality and a C in behavior
Practically fell into my apartment
It's nice to shit in your own toilet, but I already miss Cali
Lindsay's friends are a lot of fun and I can't wait til next time!

what i am worth

2009-03-02T07:30:12Z

i told you i'd be there
smiling in the front row
thanks for inviting me
now i know...

like we always do it this time

2009-02-23T18:58:44Z

i can see my tv from my toilet.

lean on me now, lean on me now

2009-02-19T19:33:47Z

it's my mom's birthday today!
got her voice mail and attempted to sing, but failed.
went to see the mavs play the nets last night!
good seats. good game. throckmorton.
that would've never happened if we still had batista!
lindsay looked adorable in her josh howard jersey. :)
....... soo dericious!
speaking of dericious........
we won free tacos at bueno!
        mmm
which is funny cause i've been craving that for weeks now.
hat backwards mix
leviticus futt.
puddin' in the pie
dunno what to sing at sharky's tonight.
i've made it a point not to repeat songs until my birthday.
we'll see how that goes...
shaved my face clean for the first time in what, 3 years?
also growin' the hair out...
dustaclicious left/right topjonathan night on the town mix
actually, i look like my LJ pic again for once.
      HOY!
soy de dallas, texas.
texas?
also changed the old apartment around.
put the tv on the fireplace!
feels like a movie theater now.
MACARONI AND CHEESE!
I HAVE SO MUCH LEFT!
still can't wait to move out and in with rindsay!
sunday is the coheed/trivium/slipknot show.
i'm going.
what is everyone listening to these days?
... what's the point in asking?
no one reads this anymore, there, texas pete!
there, twibith!
everyone first migrated to myspace, then facebook,
now no one on LJ can hear you scream!
...in that case...
FUCK!
chris cornell's new album is weird.
timbaland has a magic touch, but not on white boys with bad moustaches and chalk-scraping vocal chords.
dunno if i like it.
i liked it when you sang picky, picky
what can i say that will be relevant in 5 years?
i love lindsay.
sopapillas are delicious.
and it's been 13 years since david shot himself in the face.
amazing how no and yeah that taught us all to be
what's wrong with you?
apparently there is a string of the flu without fever in circulation that desguised itself as alergies or the common cold. though i had it for a month and a half, i will remember these days as some of the best days of my stupid little life.
nothing i can write in a silly journal will prove that
so i'll just have to remember
and you will just have to trust me.

Attention restaurant customers: Testicles. That is all.

explain it to me, god... explain it to me!

2009-02-18T17:05:01Z

so let me get this straight...
uncle sam rapes me for $7,417.20
and gives me back $516?

... wait WHAT!?

it would at least be nice to know that money went toward something good...

OH!

stacks on deck, patron on ice

2009-02-11T20:53:59Z

For Christmas, she bought me a PS3!
For Valentines, she bought me Guitar Hero World Tour (she's better than me on drums)!
For no reason, she bought me tickets to 2 Mavs games + she's taking me to LA, Orlando AND Vegas!!

Normally, i'm not one to brag, but Lindsay deserves some recognition here. Not only is she the coolest, most attractive girl i've ever met, but she really takes good care of me! In the past, I was the one who always went out of his way to make the other feel special. Don't get me wrong, I still go out of my way, but this time it's mutual. I can't count how many meals she's paid for, bar tabs she's picked up, or times she's offered to pay for important things like a doctor bill. She goes out of her way to show me she cares. It's incredible! I'm so lucky to have her! This entry should be a reminder of that in case times ever get tough. No one has ever looked at me the way she does. No one has ever inspired me to brag this much. Those who know her think the world of her. When i first met her, i didn't think I had a chance. Now, for the first time ever, i feel victorious. Like all the years of being the "nice guy" are finally paying off. So consider this entry a dedication to her. Cause i spent my entire life looking for real love, trying to define it... now i need only speak her name.

Future Plans
2/11 - Joshua Radin @ The Loft
2/12 - Karaoke @ Sharky's (every thurs)
2/18 - Mavs vs Nets @ AAC
3/1 - Lindsay applied for Water's Edge Apartments!
3/11-13 - Trip to LA!
3/17 - Mavs vs Pistons @ AAC
3/28 - Shopping for apartment stuff
3/31 - Britney @ AAC
4/3 - Rosson Crow Exhibition
4/7 - Vorreybarr Starts!
4/10 - Double Date Night
4/17-19 - Trip to Boerne!
4/22 - The Faint @ The Granada
4/25 - Graham's Bachelor Party
4/30 - Bon Jovi Karaoke
5/1 - Moving Day!!!
5/2 - Graham & Marsha's Wedding
5/9 - Louis C.K. @ The Lakewood
5/14 - Amos Lee @ The Granada
5/16 - Ft. Worth Zooooo
5/23-25 - Trip to Orlando!
5/30 - No Doubt and Paramore @ Starplex
6/1 - Lease is up, settled in with the love of my life!!!!!
6/10 - Lindsay turns 27!!!
6/12-15 - Party? White Water Rafting? Mexico!?!?!
6/27 - Jason's Wedding
7/24 - Birthday Trip to Vegas!
9/26 - 10 Year High School Reunion @ City Club

... no big deal.

hide the children free of sin

2009-01-22T18:56:06Z

What started off kind of depressing ended as one of the best years of my life.
Here's why...

January 18th, 2008
Made a bunch of resolutions
None of which were met

January 25th, 2008
Forced Josh and Gregory to listen to Savatage at work
I remember this cause I marked it on the calendar for some reason

April 2, 2008
Sarah left for good
We filed for divorce soon after

June 23rd, 2008
George Carlin died

June 24th, 2008
Abbey had a root canal

July 2008
Annual lake trip with the fam
"Got the oldies station, ya like oldies?"
"What's that?"
"Oldies!?"
"That's fine."
Divorce became official
Celebrated birthday at Sharky's
Met a lot of people
Some became really good friends
Went to Hurricane Harbor with Andrew and Karen
Started a cover band which had potential but went nowhere
Joined a Sand Volleyball team
Met Lindsay on the 29th

August 25th, 2008
My bike was stolen

August-September 2008
Lots of Karaoke and Taco C
Weeds and 24
Rock Band 2
No pants party
Aprons only party
Keg party at Janelle's

October 2008
Towels only party
LOST
Started dating Lindsay
Went Ice Skating
Went Roller Skating
Lindsay was Mrs. Officer for Halloween
I was Matthew Fox (Jack)

November-December 2008
Horiday!!
Gangster Battle
Party at Janelle's
Scored 10th row tickets to Britney
Coldplay at AAC
Nada Surf at Hailey's
Fell in love
Never been happier
Gingerbread houses
Road bikes / looked at Christmas lights
Went dancing for the 1st time
Six Flags Horiday in the Park
Lindsay bought me a PS3
I pretended to be Santa Claus
Ice sculptures
Angry neighbor
New Year's Eve party at Lindero Ranch

Significant Albums of 2008

Gnarls Barkley: The Odd Couple
Bon Iver: For Emma, Forever Ago
Protest the Hero: Fortress
Disturbed: Indestructible
The Helio Sequence: Keep Your Eyes Ahead
Nada Surf: Lucky
Cut // Copy: In Ghost Colours
My Morning Jacket: Evil Urges
Sigur Ros: með suð í eyrum við spilum endalaust
Raconteurs: Consolers of the Lonely
Vampire Weekend
Jason Mraz: We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things
The Airbourne Toxic Event
Black Kids: Partie Traumatic
Coldplay: Viva la Vida
Fleet Foxes: Sun Giant EP and Ragged Wood
Joshua Radin: Simple Times
Lil' Wayne: Tha Carter III
Britney Spears: Circus

Disappointments: Ours: Mercy (waited 7 years + rick rubin should've made it gold)
Kanye West: 808's and Heartbreaks (i'm all for artists branching out, but did he have to use the fucking vocoder on every last fucking song? i mean come on! you're a rapper for christ's sake, and a damn good one at that. leave the singing to... Ours)

'09 has been great so far! My angry neighbor got evicted. The season 5 premier of LOST blew my mind, and Lindsay is an absolute angel. Got sick drunk already, and have even been invited to a couple parties. Oh, and the Patty Melt is back at Whataburger! Not a bad start... not a bad start indeed.

cut the cord

2009-01-13T20:54:42Z

so in love, i can't see straight.
i'm retarded for this girl.
certain it's real cause my heart was all but dead before
and now it is about to beat right out of my chest.

christmas was great
i got more than i could've ever asked for
even got to play santa clause ;)

new year's was a blast
went dancing
and got to drink all i could at the open bar

speaking of dancing
i had never really been before
now i can't wait to go back
watching her move is like seeing heaven open up before you

lucky to still have a job
confident that i will prevail regardless
right now i've found everything i need
and if i die...
i'd die the happiest i have ever been

i would pull apart my bones
to build a fire to keep you warm
and if that's not enough then it's ok

mr_cricket @ 2008-12-08T12:52:00

2008-12-08T18:53:06Z

smitten.

and we'll make it, i swear

2008-10-06T20:30:05Z

aquaman56: do this phone? before i give my money away...... the ture

boxes made of ticky tacky

2008-09-26T16:47:13Z

Rico Mis Puertos: I wait that they have canceled the payment transaction, for next occasion you indicate to that places you don't make delivery to avoid inconveniences.

I have a crush on Mary-Louise Parker, or at least her character in Weeds.

Today I am having lunch at the shitpantsbooth.

Tomorrow is Twibith's birthday!

The end.

give me your heart and your soul

2008-09-23T20:01:37Z

customers are insatiable.

we'll run like we're awesome, totally genius

2008-09-22T21:16:27Z

weekend before last, a few friends and i went bar-hopping. afterwards, we decided it would be a good idea to get drunkin' donuts and go prance around our old high school. after reminiscing a bit, we relieved ourselves on B building, then someone threw a lunch tray off the bridge and i stuck a doughnut to a wall. later we came across a staircase leading far down to a strange drainage area with a locked door. we determined it existed for no other reason than to pee off of... too bad we hadn't discovered it sooner! upon leaving, someone suggested driving the car off road across campus.

of course i was willing to comply...

unfortunately for us, a car was parked in the parking lot we were headed towards and the lights literally came on as we approached! weren't sure if it was a cop / weren't gonna wait around to find out! so picture 4 grown men speeding across the campus of my old high school, dodging benches and trees and laughing hysterically while we desperately tried to make it back to the parking lot from which we came!

now, i've never been one to accept defeat. especially when it comes to tomfoolery!

so this past weekend, after a road trip to denton for pabst and the only open jimmy johns, we planned to revisit the senior high to pee off of the mystery stairs and to hopefully make it off road in my car from one end of campus to the other. on our way in, we noticed a car parked in the same parking lot, but determined it negligible seeing as how it wasn't a cop. after consuming our doughnuts and relieving ourselves, we were ready to ride!

... although we made it further than the week before, it never occured to any of us that there was a 3 foot wall on either side of the sidewalk leading from building A to building D. luckily i slammed on my breaks just in time so that only 1 of my front tires made it over. if we hadn't stopped, my car would be lying face down at a 45 degree angle smack dab in the middle of my old high school campus! fortunately, i was able to throw it in reverse while 2 guys pushed and we popped right out. whoever was in the car in the parking lot probably witnessed the entire spectacle! so there we were... grown men, a little embarrassed, completely hysterical, and a little sad that for the second time, we were speeding back the way we came... unsuccessful and almost busted.

the "aprons only" party on saturday, however, was a success to say the least. as long as i don't get evicted, there will most likely be a sequel. i'm also considering a sequel to the "no pants" party as well as a "post-it notes only" party.

life is hilarious.

wrap me in the banner i made

2008-09-19T17:10:10Z

is there something wrong?
if not i'd be happy to cause some trouble
make us remember how much worse it could really be
changing for you
taking over me
i want this feeling to last
i want this feeling to last
i want this feeling
but it's so pretty, undefined
and those not defined
will fade in time
in time...

no matter where you are in a room
i can feel you
sometimes it matters not
but others i want to scream
and crack the ground with lightning fists until your only choice is to notice this

i don't need you
the fact that it's over
brings greater meaning to the times we had
who were you looking at?
the air encumbered by faces taking up spaces
they turn around
looking down
i realize the only joy i ever had was knowing i'll never have
and that feeling
oh, that feeling...

can last forever

get outta this place while we still have time

2008-09-17T19:19:14Z

work.
for the past 3 or 4 years it's been a surprising joy.
got to hire and work with some of my best friends.
had long lunches and somewhat flexible hours.
learned how to run a business and maximize efficieny.
had the opportunity to be creative and put my own ideas into play...
even got to show up every day in flip flops!

but lately, i dunno...
lately it seems like i've reached a plateau.
partially cause my friends no longer work in the office with me
but mainly because all my efforts and ideas don't seem to be adding up to a comfortable living.
in fact, i even took a pay cut after one friend quit and the other went part-time.
don't get me wrong, we're making good money as a company.
business is just as good as it's ever been!
i just question where all that money goes every month...

if this were my company
or mine and my friend's...
if we were charge...
i'm certain things would be better.
much better.

which brings me to a crossroads of sorts...

do i stick with it and hope for the best?
compared to other jobs, i'm really quite lucky.
also, the opportunity to merge with another company has risen.
this could mean big changes + more money!
but at the same time more responsibility...
not to mention, i'd have roughly an hour drive to work every day
and would still be workin' for the man...

i wanna be the man, dammit!

is that possible?
i'm young and can afford a few more failures...
what have i got to lose!?
the bank will loan me upwards of 30k to start my own business.
plus, i got friends and dear old dad in my corner to back me up.
i've also got the contacts, the know-how and the reputation to really make it work!
the only issue is whether or not i can sleep at night knowing i fucked over my boss...

but isn't that the american dream?
to fuck over one's boss?
i guess not if you actually like them.

but do i have to fuck over the boss?
the guy who took a chance on me and employed me for 3+ years?
i wouldn't be here if it weren't for him, that's for sure.
then again, he wouldn't be here if it weren't for me either
and lately he's done a poor job of realizing that...

botched taxes.
pay cuts.
vanishing bonuses and health care.
forgetfulness.
laziness.
shady activity.
zero punctuality.
minimal attendance.
just wants to know where his money is
but doesn't pay those he owes.
takes forever to do what is asked.
then does it wrong...

whereas i am here on time every day.
rarely sick.
responsible for our bread and butter.
and so efficient that all work is done by noon!
which means on any given day
i could do both my job and my boss' job
and still have an hour lunch!

sigh

money is definitely a driving factor.
pff, if i was paid more, i don't think i'd be writing this.

then again there is a lot to be said about a sense of accomplishment.
the feeling that you exist for a reason other than to make someone else rich.

My OWN Business ABC's...

a) work until work is done.
b) as long as work gets done, you can work whenever and wherever you want.
c) fridays are optional.
d) no dress code.
e) music is encouraged.
f) don't watch any raunchy youtube videos... without me!
g) everyone gets paid equally.
h) when you get paid is up to you.
i) if there's money left over, we go out and celebrate then split the rest.
j) my motto: the customer is NOT always right.
k) pets welcome!
l) drinking is allowed as long as it doesn't hinder your work.
m) if you fuck up, we each get to shoot rubber bands at you.
n) business hammocks!
o) birthdays off.
p) every significant office supply must be given a stupid name
q) everyone must refer to each office supply by its given name ("agatha printsworth is out of ink")
r) fart contests
s) company meetings to be held at stip clubs or six flags depending on the weather
t) jimmy johns once a week
u) refrigerator always stocked with water, energy drinks, whiskey and beer
v) no work week is complete without a c&c: red alert 2 LAN party
w) company pants
x) a starbucks in the office
y) sex is always a valid excuse to miss work
z) a photograph of Dave Coulier at every desk for inspiration

time is all the luck you need

2008-09-15T17:05:24Z

who or what do you turn to for answers?
some would say god, the bible, parents, teachers, political leaders, bill paxton...
or maybe a combination of the above.
i on the other hand, turn to music and lyrics.
(as in instrumentations and words sung, not the charming romantic comedy starring hugh grant.)

it's more or less responsible for defining all major emotions as well as providing a serious outlet for them.

cause god, to me, is intangible.
the bible, mostly exaggerated and misinterpreted.
my parents stopped giving a fuck years ago.
teachers aren't paid enough to give a fuck, and the ones that do are few and far between.
political leaders, fuck.
and bill paxton doesn't return my calls! fucker!!

maybe if ice cream could talk it would know a thing or two
but alas, it doesn't... so music is my true prophet.

the bad news is that there is not a song in existence to describe the way i feel right now.
the good news is i need only to write one!
... the bad news is i haven't been able to write a song in nearly 2 years.
but the good news is that bill paxton is set to star in broken lizard's slammin' salmon...

so maybe i won't have to.

we're the heirs to the glimmering world

2008-09-09T17:42:31Z

I'm fuzzy on the specific dates, but I'm pretty sure the following happened within the past few weeks in no particular order...

No Pants Party that included Twister, the Neverending Story, Cookies, and Macaroni & Cheese
Joined a sand volleyball team
Shadow of the Colossus
Too drunk to eat Whataburger
Participated in a conga line
Six Flags
Cops called cause Rock Band was too loud
Walking in Memphis karaoke
Helped a friend with an agonizing move
Keg party
Fucked by the bank
Dave and Buster's
Catfight over my existence
Herbal refreshment
Season 3 of 24
Damian Blowchest
Chief Ridingpants
Winona Brownsweat
Cleetus McBeerdixie
Old friends
New friends
Taco C
A new Dragonforce album

I'm having the time of my life, meanwhile... everyone else seems to be taking a deep breath. Given the impending election, the fallout from the sub-prime mortgage debacle, the rising rate of debt and unemployment, and hurricanes abound, I don't blame them! But there is still fun to be had, and a multitude of people out there to meet who can help you and make you realize the world ain't that bad and not everyone is a fucking idiot. If we could somehow think of every stranger, including registered voters, fellow motorists, hasty shoppers, or needy persons as if they were potentially more like someone we enjoyed rather than someone who is just going to encumber our progress or stunt our happiness...

mr_cricket @ 2008-08-27T11:05:00

2008-08-27T16:06:22Z

my bike was stolen.